The two biggest things that break my heart are:
People not giving Jesus a chance because of the way some people harm his image
And...
People judging me before hearing or knowing my heart
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Taking an Honest and Spiritual Inventory
This has to be the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know I have said that before with other things but that's because those things were hard but THIS IS HARDER.
"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord" Lamentations 3:40
So, taking an honest and spiritual inventory of myself is painful and frustrating. I worked on it maybe a total of 3 hours over the past 3 or 4 months. That doesn't seem like a lot and that's because it isn't a lot. I worked the first hour on it and was exhausted. I put it down for about a month and then did another straight hour. That time I got so upset and emotional that I had to put away and it's been another month and here I am again. I've only worked on it for about 20 minutes and I am stuck.
We're talking answering questions like...
"Who is the object of my resentment or fear?"
"What specific actions did that person take that hurt me?"
"What effect did that action have on my life; both past and present?"
"What damage did that action do to my basic social, security and/or sexual instincts?"
"What part of the resentment am I responsible for?"
"Who are the people I have hurt?"
"How have I hurt them?"
If you have caught on to why this is painful and frustrating, good! I have only made it through the first person and there are many more people on my list. I could only get the second persons name written and had to put it down. Questions like these are intense but I want to follow through with this because there is going to be such freedom and healing in this process. Not only will I write out honest things but I will go over all of it with someone that I trust. What a challenge. This is so hard. I'm in this for the freedom and healing. Nothing more. Nothing less.
"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord" Lamentations 3:40
So, taking an honest and spiritual inventory of myself is painful and frustrating. I worked on it maybe a total of 3 hours over the past 3 or 4 months. That doesn't seem like a lot and that's because it isn't a lot. I worked the first hour on it and was exhausted. I put it down for about a month and then did another straight hour. That time I got so upset and emotional that I had to put away and it's been another month and here I am again. I've only worked on it for about 20 minutes and I am stuck.
We're talking answering questions like...
"Who is the object of my resentment or fear?"
"What specific actions did that person take that hurt me?"
"What effect did that action have on my life; both past and present?"
"What damage did that action do to my basic social, security and/or sexual instincts?"
"What part of the resentment am I responsible for?"
"Who are the people I have hurt?"
"How have I hurt them?"
If you have caught on to why this is painful and frustrating, good! I have only made it through the first person and there are many more people on my list. I could only get the second persons name written and had to put it down. Questions like these are intense but I want to follow through with this because there is going to be such freedom and healing in this process. Not only will I write out honest things but I will go over all of it with someone that I trust. What a challenge. This is so hard. I'm in this for the freedom and healing. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Yay for summer classes! Not...
I'm excited because I have a set goal that I can immediately put my mind to and I'm excited that I have classes to mark off the list again very soon. I'm kind of bummed that it involved 6 credit hours for the summer. That isn't a lot but it is when you're a mother of three children that will be home every day throughout the summer. I keep having to remind myself that getting these classes out of the way will help me tremendously over the next two years because I shouldn't have more than 11 credit hours each semester here on out. That will be much more beneficial to me and I will be able to put all of my focus into Radiology and that's what I need to do. I need a good system for the summer... Hmm... I'll have to think more on this.
I'm excited because I have a set goal that I can immediately put my mind to and I'm excited that I have classes to mark off the list again very soon. I'm kind of bummed that it involved 6 credit hours for the summer. That isn't a lot but it is when you're a mother of three children that will be home every day throughout the summer. I keep having to remind myself that getting these classes out of the way will help me tremendously over the next two years because I shouldn't have more than 11 credit hours each semester here on out. That will be much more beneficial to me and I will be able to put all of my focus into Radiology and that's what I need to do. I need a good system for the summer... Hmm... I'll have to think more on this.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
One Year Old
Happy first birthday to my sweet little love bug. I am so in love with this boy. He makes my heart smile and melt at the same time. I feel like he's saved my life in a way. He's just precious and wonderful and I love him so much!
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No one compares, you stand alone
To every record I own
Music to my heart, that’s what you are
A song that goes on and on
To every record I own
Music to my heart, that’s what you are
A song that goes on and on
Monday, May 20, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
I'm excited about all the weddings going on this summer. I love love <3
It's so great seeing people make their life long commitments to each other and make vows to love and keep on loving. It is one of the hardest commitments a person can ever make. Butterflies and desires eventually wear off and people are faced with the ups and downs of life along with facing the good, bad and the things the detest about their spouse. It's hard. But God honors the faithfulness of the commitments and vows that we make to Him and our spouse.
Weddings have always been one of my very favorite things to attend. I am grateful that I get to help plan one this summer, be matron of honor in another, and be a regular guest at yet another. It just makes me happy.
I'm not one for strapless dresses, especially while being the mother of small children but I'm hoping I rock out this dress!
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It's so great seeing people make their life long commitments to each other and make vows to love and keep on loving. It is one of the hardest commitments a person can ever make. Butterflies and desires eventually wear off and people are faced with the ups and downs of life along with facing the good, bad and the things the detest about their spouse. It's hard. But God honors the faithfulness of the commitments and vows that we make to Him and our spouse.
Weddings have always been one of my very favorite things to attend. I am grateful that I get to help plan one this summer, be matron of honor in another, and be a regular guest at yet another. It just makes me happy.
I'm not one for strapless dresses, especially while being the mother of small children but I'm hoping I rock out this dress!
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I'm going to need a tan...
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