Taking an Honest and Spiritual Inventory

This has to be the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know I have said that before with other things but that's because those things were hard but THIS IS HARDER.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord" Lamentations 3:40

So, taking an honest and spiritual inventory of myself is painful and frustrating. I worked on it maybe a total of 3 hours over the past 3 or 4 months. That doesn't seem like a lot and that's because it isn't a lot. I worked the first hour on it and was exhausted. I put it down for about a month and then did another straight hour. That time I got so upset and emotional that I had to put away and it's been another month and here I am again. I've only worked on it for about 20 minutes and I am stuck.

We're talking answering questions like...
"Who is the object of my resentment or fear?"
"What specific actions did that person take that hurt me?"
"What effect did that action have on my life; both past and present?"
"What damage did that action do to my basic social, security and/or sexual instincts?"
"What part of the resentment am I responsible for?"
"Who are the people I have hurt?"
"How have I hurt them?"

If you have caught on to why this is painful and frustrating, good! I have only made it through the first person and there are many more people on my list. I could only get the second persons name written and had to put it down. Questions like these are intense but I want to follow through with this because there is going to be such freedom and healing in this process. Not only will I write out honest things but I will go over all of it with someone that I trust. What a challenge. This is so hard. I'm in this for the freedom and healing. Nothing more. Nothing less.