Lord I believe but, please, help my unbelief.

That thing in the Bible where"my righteousness is as fithy rags" thing. Yeah, that's me.

I am so humbled by the way God chooses to use me. I'm just a worthless wrag that's been stained and torn to shreds yet he chooses to use me to lead worship and help bring others into a place of worship together.
I don't consider myself a good leader, especially in leading worship, but God did amazing things through a 25 year old, warped, 80's looking, scrambled up girl. Don't get me wrong, I love it and I'm willing to be used and I put myself out there to be used but I don't see why He has chosen me. Sometimes I think that surely there's someone better than me with a better voice and a better musician with a better life than me. I know those people are out there. But God has chosen me for this time and this place and I'm more thankful than anyone will ever know.

Kickin' It Old School

We have a concert tonight that is geared towards an 80's theme. We are doing our normal music but we want to dress the part. This is what Goodwill and I have put together. I believe it will do :)

Add some red lipstick and all will be complete. I'm glad God's okay with having fun while we praise Him!

Thailand Bound

Passports are purchased. Fundraising has begun. Childcare is confirmed. Now we wait until November.
I'm honored and humbled to have been asked to go to Thailand to participate in Pattaya Praise which is a 4 day praise and worship event in Pattaya, Thailand. Our band, Restored, will be playing during this event which is going to be an amazing experience. We are not only going to play music. We will have the opportunity to visit an orphanage, go into the slums and reach out to the people there and we are going to take small things for the children to put together to resemble instruments that they can play, we will do prayer walks through a couple towns, and we will visit some of the prostitution bars. I am hoping to be able to get into those bars with a guitar to play and sing about how those women are made for more than who they are and their lives can be changed if they will allow the change to happen. I have several songs in mind so I'm going to have to remember to pray that God will work that part out.
I'm just excited about what's ahead even though I know this will bring struggles. Heck, it already has.

The Scripture that I have recently read and begun to memorize is this:

 ¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
   because the LORD has anointed me 
   to proclaim good news to the poor. 
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
   to proclaim freedom for the captives 
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a] 
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor 
   and the day of vengeance of our God, 
to comfort all who mourn, 
 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion— 
to bestow on them a crown of beauty 
   instead of ashes, 
the oil of joy 
   instead of mourning, 
and a garment of praise 
   instead of a spirit of despair. 
They will be called oaks of righteousness, 
   a planting of the LORD 
   for the display of his splendor.

 ⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
   that have been devastated for generations.

                                  Isaiah 61:1-4

God will surely bless this!

I'm loving my new curls! I got a perm hoping to have the same length but my hair to appear shorter because it's getting on my nerves. There's a bonus though...people now think I'm a lot younger than I really am. I like it :)

Telling my story went so well! It's encouraging to be able to share my good and bad moments and walk away from it with no one resenting me or turning their back to me and walking away because of the choices I have made. I'm thankful for these opportunites. As scary as it is to say, I will be looking forward to more of these opportunities.

I'm rather nervous about tonight. I have the opportunity to share my story and of course I'm going to because I believe God has given me this opportunity to tell of His grace in my life. I haven't done this in this manner before and it scares me but I know if God has put it together then He will make it go well. I really don't have many things to say about it right now because of how nervous I am. I have some preparation to do for it though. I know I need to write everything down so I don't get side tracked or mess something up. My mind has been in a whirlwind for awhile anyway. It's hard seeing an ex. That happened last week. Totally unplanned. I thought I would handle it better but it's harder than I thought. It's just messed with me and I have had a lot of trouble processing things. Ugh. I bet half of what I'm typing isn't even making that much sense.