Parenting has a lot of challenges on any given day. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to talk to my children about is death. We've visited this topic a few times over the past year or so because of funerals I've attended or they've heard about someone dying and had questions. I never thought I would have to tell my children about a group of other children their age being murdered. At first I wasn't sure if I would bring it up. Then I thought I would rather them hear it from me than to hear it from another child at school or even from a teacher. I wanted them to be surrounded by comfort at home because every child will respond to something like this a little bit differently.
I have had a hard time with this news myself. I find it horrific and tragic and I can't imagine even the thought of losing my children in the way many other parents lost theirs. I feel like I have been in an interesting emotional state since seeing news coverage of this Friday. So when I sat down with my kids today to talk to them about it, I had to back up and start over a couple different times because I couldn't talk through my tears. I didn't necessarily want my kids to see me that way or hear the emotion that came with the words I had to tell them but I decided to go with it because transparency is very important in this house and they need to know that it's perfectly acceptable to be afraid and that it's okay to weep on someone else's behalf and we're meant to feel this. We're meant to mourn the loss of innocent children that we don't even know. Children are so innocent and trusting and fragile.
I was able to get through my tears to tell my kids what had taken place. Makenna's reaction was exactly what I thought it would be. She cried in fear and told me she didn't want to go to school anymore and she wanted to stay home with me. I knew she would feel this way so I was prepared for it. Isaiah had his typical brave reaction. I could tell that he was uncomfortable with what he heard though.
Now that all is said and done, my kids are okay with going to school tomorrow. Makenna wants to talk to someone at the school about this stuff. I told her they are providing extra counselors for children that have questions. I feel like we have answered all her questions but it would be good for her to have a renewed sense of comfort within her school by talking to someone there. So I'm going to walk her to her class in the morning and see what we need to do. She has such a soft heart and she loves so greatly but she's sensitive. I want her little heart taken care of.
I'm happy that my kids are all home and tucked in their beds and sleeping peacefully. I do often take them for granted. I hate that something so tragic has to happen in order for parents like myself to be reminded to love and cherish the time we have with our children. My heart mourns with the parents who have lost such precious lives. But I do find hope in the simple words my kids chose to say today..."those kids are in Heaven in their special rooms God made for them".
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