Game On

I believe I'm finally coming to the point where I can put words to how I've been feeling lately. In a way I feel like a teenager again with all the insecurities that come with the different ages within the those years and the way one attemps to find themselves during all of the changes. Of course it's different now than it was then because I am married with 2 children and nearly 4 months pregnant. The deal here is that I can't change my family, nor do I want to, but I have to be able to find who I am again in the midst of being responsible for 3 other lives.
Being in school is so much different than when I was a teenager. Of course! I have 3 other lives that are dependant on me. I don't have time to sit around and let my mind wander away with me and see where my thoughts lead me and what kind of creativity may come from it. That used to be one of my favorite things. I can't take an adequate amount of time to focus on my homework like I need to. I can't get lost in my studies and be where I want to be with them. It's nearly impossible. I'm not complaining about any of this. I'm letting myself know that I realize how different things are so I can figure out a way to make it all into a happy little mesh of things.
I'm not miserably sick every day now and I'm am extremely thankful for that! Now I have 2 months worth of things to catch up on because of the sickness. Luckily, I am very healthy now that it's time for finals but I have to do so well on them to make up for not doing so well because of being sick. I'm just hoping to manage my time well enough to do the best I can.
So, now that I have a few things figured out in my mind, I have to find a way to actively stay on top of things and apparently do it differently than I ever have. It sure seems complicated but at least I can put my thoughts in the right direction now rather than aimlessly thinking about why things don't make sense to me.
Maybe that was a mouthful of blabber that just went through my finger tips onto a computer screen but at least it's out of my head and I know which direction I'm going now. It's time to get more motivated than usual and get myself back on track.