I'm amazed at how freely some people are able to talk about sex. It's a difficult topic for me sometimes because of the many mistakes I've made with it. I'm happy to have heard about some blogs that are so open to the topic as far as finding cleansing and healing with the hurts and hang ups I've gotten myself in.
It's cool to see that there are other people like me, that think like me, want the same things I want, and struggle in areas that I struggle in as well. It's good to hear their openness and see their willingness to seek Christ and seek His healing. I know that the only way to heal from past mistakes is to let God have control over it and let Him heal you. It's hard and it takes time and I understand that more and more with each day that passes.
I'm trying my best to let Him have control over it. Sometimes I want to be the control freak and just do what I want to do. Of course that always leads to failure just like I knew it would. He's so good with being faithful to pick me back up and help me continue on my journey to finding peace and working towards the healing that I so desperately need.
At times I feel like Satan knows that I'm trying to do better and that I'm seeking God more and I'm running to find His will for my life because when I am doing those things more intensely, he fights me harder and harder. I wonder if it isn't more of God's will that I'm tested more through those times to see how genuine I am in seeking His will for me. If that's the case, things are only going to get more difficult. I'm trying harder and more sincerely than I ever have. My heart is truly in this! Let's get it on!