It is today that I can be thankful for the emotional and verbal abuse that I have once endured because it is also today that I can help another in the same situation. I'm given opportunity after opportunity to speak truth into the lives of others and also show them an example of God's grace in action. It is today that I'm thankful.

Bitter-Sweet

My baby cousin got married today and everything was so gorgeous. The colors, the people, the music, the vows, the sand...yes the sand. It was really cool that they chose two different colors to pour into a glass to represent the unity of two becoming one rather than using a unity candle. They actually had three colors of sand and added little Jillian into the mix and made it the unity of the three of them which really touched my heart and was precious. They wrote their own vows and they were so sincere and beautiful. I'm happy that they are so happy. He's a husband and father now which blows my mind but I'm so proud of that booger head. I love him so much!

I'm learning right now that rap music helps me focus on my math better. I would only know this because it BLARING outside the library while I'm working on homework. So apparently I just need some crazy fast lyrics that I can't keep up with along with a hard pounding bass drum to appeal to my ADD so I can get these numbers worked out. Sweet!

I have a rather testy 4 year old for the past few days. She really is testing her limits with me. It's difficult to say the least. On top of that, I have many hours of homework to get done today. So for now I will continue to split my computer screen with her and let her watch kids songs on You Tube while I work on my math.
Yeah, so, whoever is in school full time and do not have kids or a house to maintain as well as a marriage, consider yourself privileged and a little more sane than those of us trying to conquer all of those put together.
Sleep will be my best of friends tonight.

I'm not very happy with myself

What an amazing morning! I really enjoy being able to take the kids to school and have some time to myself. This morning was a little different though. We were constantly about 5 minutes late all morning. I couldn't get my butt of out bed so I was a little behind which put everything else behind. We got in the school line a little later than normal so that put us more behind. Isaiah wanted to carry his backpack in his hand rather than on his shoulders so with every step it dragged on the ground which tripped him up and slowed us down a little more. Makenna had trouble leaving Isaiah's school because her poor little elbow hurt so she couldn't walk...
I finally got Makenna to preschool and Nate met me there to get a book out of the car. The constant set backs actually put me right on time to meet up with a friend in need. I didn't get upset about us being a little behind schedule this morning because I'm doing my best to not get upset in the mornings because when I do it creates more of a disaster than just being behind. So with my attitude and temper in check, God decided to put me where he wanted me, right when he wanted me there.
I saw a girl I know walking up the road after leaving Makenna's school so I stopped and asked her if she wanted a ride. She wasn't going very far but I convinced her to let me take her where she needed to go. While she was in the car we were able to talk about so much in such a short amount of time. I learned that she was officially divorced 3 months ago and she is only 24 years old. Although the divorce is official, she has felt impressed by God to try to work things out with her husband and he feels the same way! Whoa! I have totally been there and what an opportunity awaited me. We were able to talk about the difficulties of separation and the depression involved with that time and the problems that led up to the separation and the healing that has taken place on each individual during the whole process. I can only say that God is amazing and with him all things are possible.
Her marriage was way worse than mine was. Her and her husband had bigger problems than we did. They very possibly have more to work through than we do. But God is so gracious and merciful that he can handle this and they already know that. How encouraging and excited to see him working in others and I get to watch it happen and encourage them and let them know that it's worth it. It's not easy! None of it! It's exhausting to attempt to put a marriage back together and learn to trust again and learn to love even when at times you don't like the person you're suppose to love. Just an amazing experience of grace and love and I have been living it and now I get to watch it play out in someone else's marriage. It's so encouraging and exciting!
I told her that there will be many times she will be upset with herself and say "what the crap am I doing this for?!" but those times will come and go, just as they should, and God will bless her efforts.
I'm so humbled and excited to be used in times like this. It's all about love, looove, loooovvve. Go God!

I never thought I would say this...but...I'm becoming rather fond of the library. Who knew such a thing could be so awesome? I see us spending many days together in the near future xoxoxo