I never thought I would say this...but...I'm becoming rather fond of the library. Who knew such a thing could be so awesome? I see us spending many days together in the near future xoxoxo

heart...mind...strength

Trying with all of your heart, mind and strength is really challenging. You may get your heart in the right place but then something goes whack in your mind then, poof, there goes your strength. At other times your mind may be in the right place but your heart just isn't in it and you have no strength at all. It's very difficult to get these 3 things in good working order all at the same time. All kinds of factors play into this. Lack of rest. Lack of goof nutrition. Lack of exercise. Lack of love. Lack of joy. 

What keeps you from jumping into something with your whole heart? Fear is often what binds me up. I get scared that someone won't like what I'm doing or someone will get upset with me or someone won't approve. I tend to like to make people happy, especially those that are closet to me. Being tired often is a factor for me as well.

I'm on this roller coaster pattern that is up and down and side to side. I try to do what's right and not care what anyone thinks. As long as God is happy then I'm happy too. But then I get tired and seriously drained and there goes the combination of heart, mind and strength. Then the roller coaster begins again with wind blowing me  from all directions. I keep hearing the phrase "we are the beautiful oak planted on the rivers edge where our reflection is there for everyone to see the goodness of God's glory in us". That's a pretty powerful one to take in. If I can stay planted like that tree is, I can stay strong and firm where I'm planted. I might bend but I won't break. Cool. Cool! I love analogies. 

My plan until I forget again...stay firmly planted in the incorruptible foundation and raise my hands in praise to the one who made me and let Him have the fight since He's already won the battle. 

Once, I had someone that I was able to share my deepest, innermost thoughts with. I'm really not sure what to do with those thoughts anymore. I want to get them out but I'm unsure of how to do that. It's always nice to be able to share them with someone but I don't know who that someone would be now.

Public Speaking...

...not that I like it...not that I don't. It's just a class that pretty much everyone has to take eventually. My first speech is next Tuesday and it's a short one to introduce myself and then I have the option to pick 1 of 5 questions.
1. What I would dare to dream if I knew I could NOT fail?
2. What is the most unusual job you have ever had and what did you learn positive about this job?
3. What is the best movie of all time and why?  Did this film have a positive or negative effect to the audience/society?
4. Who’s the most unusual character you have ever met and why?
5. Who do you consider a “superhero” (living or dead) and why is this person important to your life?

      Not too terribly difficult, right? Nah. I decided to go with the last question. Who's the superhero? Well, when he first came to my mind, I will admit, I felt very shy and even cringed a little to think that I would do my first speech on him. Then I thought more and more about it and I've decided that there's no better way to share the gospel with that many people at once than to tell them that my superhero is Jesus. It still makes me very nervous because I get nervous talking about my faith. I think this is an extremely simple way to do it and I'm fulfilling the assignment at the same time.

      I've written it out so now I'll have to wait until Tuesday to see how it goes.

I'm really hoping that I can keep up good study habits like I've started this week. Other than making a nap priority today instead of homework... Maybe sometimes that will be necessary though so I can stay awake through all the history reading...

Overwhelmed

My kids are the greatest kids in the whole world. They may do things that get on my nerves or make me feel like I haven't done a good job raising them but they also do things that make me teary in a good way. They make me a proud mother. They are the joy of my life. I love them so much!!
Isaiah turns 5 today. Time has flown by. Sometimes it seems like it's been 5 years since those labor pains came on but sometimes it feels like it was only a few days ago. He has his first loose tooth. He said "Mom, I think my tooth is growing". I had no clue what he was talking about but when I touched it, it moved. I could have cried because it doesn't seem right that he's old enough to have a loose tooth. My little sweetheart is growing up on me. He begins kindergarten tomorrow. I know that he'll cry when I leave him but I also know that I will cry when I get back in the car. I have no doubts. That's how him and I work. We're a team at this crying thing. We're both looking forward to school starting though. He's excited and he's going to meet new friends and his birthday party is next week so he's looking forward to meeting new people that he can invite to his party!
Makenna turns 4 in 5 days. She's such a big girl. I dropped her off for her first day at preschool yesterday. She had her little backpack on and she was carrying her little lunch box. She went right in and the teacher introduced herself to Makenna and asked what her name was. She started to shy away but she changed her mind and turned right back around and said, "I'm Makenna", shook her teachers hand and went to her chair. She didn't turn back to me. Such a difference between these two kids. I had to go over to her seat and get her attention so she would give me a goodbye kiss. She was SO excited to be at preschool. She had a wonderful day and colored two pictures for me which are beautiful! She also learned that "I" makes the sound  of the short "I" as in "Indian". She's going to be reading in no time.
I'm looking forward to continuing my education. I found out yesterday that a good friend of mine is in my math class with me. I haven't seen her since she got married but we were really good friends when we were around 12 and 13. I'm looking forward to catching up with her as well as all these new classes and even making new friends myself! I love that part! I love meeting new people and getting to know them and learning about their lives and their families!

Lord I believe but, please, help my unbelief.